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.“When you’re there, talking to me.It’s when I’m here alone and you’re not there, and the phone just rings and you don’t pick up.That’s when my brain starts going crazy.Everyone else has always lied to me, why wouldn’t you?”“But don’t you see? That’s exactly what I’ve been talking about.It’s an opportunity for you.Just like I’m starting to break my patterns, this is an opportunity for you to break yours.For you to stop your brain from going crazy with those thoughts.For you to learn how to trust again.”“Well, it sounds easy when you say it.You try being here inside my cell, inside my brain.”She couldn’t help laughing and was relieved when Tim laughed too.She was excited, almost giddy with relief.“I didn’t say it was easy.My God, I just drove to Toronto.Negotiated the 401.I’ve never been able to do that before.I’m breaking my fears.We can do this, Tim.We can help each other.I feel it.I don’t mind it when you lose it.I know you need to vent.I like that.We both get to vent.But … just don’t hang up on me, okay? I can’t take that.”“Yeah, I know.I shouldn’t have done that.It wasn’t fair.I’m sorry, Lu.I was just so scared for you, I had to let it out.How was it at your dad’s anyway?”“Well it’s about time you asked,” she said, with humour in her voice.The words almost tumbled over each other she was so relieved.Everything was fine.This was what it was about—communication, peace after a fight, personal progress.She told him about the weekend, about getting Anna and Doug to agree to write letters on his behalf.“And I know Dad’s going to come around,” she added.“It’s just a matter of time.”“Time,” said Tim, “I got plenty of.”She was afraid he was going to spiral down, but he added: “Lu?”“Mmm?”“I love you.You know?”Warmth spread through her chest.She did know.That was the most amazing thing of all.9.STEVE QUINN’S PLACE WAS A second-storey walk-up apartment in an Edwardian house not many blocks from the police station.I was nervous knocking on the door.Pleased by the smile in his eyes when he opened it.And relieved when he said he was ready and didn’t invite me in.Also slightly disappointed.I wasn’t surprised when he suggested we take my car and held out his hand for my keys.I handed them over without even thinking about it.“It’s not your Integra,” I warned him.I felt self-conscious about my battered old Escort.“Hey, it’s got a stick, that’s all that matters.” He sent an approving look my way and started the engine.“Most women don’t drive stick shift.”“That’s bullshit.”Quinn laughed.“Okay, most women I know don’t drive stick shift.Where to, Boss?”I directed him to the end of Delta Drive.He stopped the car close to the place I had parked a few days before, where a path between two houses disappeared into the woods.He made no move to get out.He turned to me.The car felt very close.“Where are you getting your information from, Ellen?”“I told you, I’ve been having these dreams.”“But there’s something you’re not telling me.”“That cop instinct at work again?”“Or maybe you’re just not very good at lying.”“Are you saying I’m lying?”He gave me an appraising look.“No,” he said, “not outright lying.But I think you’ve been editing the truth.”“And you want the whole truth.”“And nothing but the truth, preferably.”I smiled, I couldn’t help it.“Well, that I can’t guarantee.I don’t have a clue what’s true and what’s not true anymore.”“Okay, then, just tell me what you’ve been experiencing.Without censoring yourself.Call it a dry run for the court.”“The court?”“One day you’re going to be a witness, sweetheart, no doubt about that.So let’s start with those dreams you keep telling me about.What’s really going on?”My brain was racing.Doing a quick edit to see what I could still leave out without arousing suspicion.“Well, the dreams are true,” I said.“At least, I’m not sure their contents are true, but I have been having them.And, as you say, I’ve been editing the contents.They’ve been much more elaborate than I’ve made them out to be.It’s not just messages I’ve been getting but images.I’ve had to interpret the images.I was trying to simplify it, make it easier, more coherent, but….”“You said it was some anonymous voice giving you the messages.That’s not true, is it?”I looked out the window, prepared to watch until the buds opened on the trees.Quinn seemed prepared to wait with me.Why did he have to be so perceptive? Finally I turned back to him.“It’s Lucy who’s speaking to me.”Quinn’s expression didn’t change, but he breathed in, and out, a long breath.“I can see why you might have been reluctant to volunteer that information.”“Because it seems like the product of an overwrought mind?”It was Quinn’s turn to watch the buds on the trees open.“Let’s just say,” he said at last, “that I can see how you might think I might think that.”I laughed a bitter laugh.“It’s me who thinks that.”“Yet, you came to the police station at two in the morning.”“That was the hell of it.Not putting any credence in the dreams but feeling compelled.The crux was realizing Lucy might still be alive.” I was embarrassed to hear my voice choke up.Quinn put a hand over mine.It was a clichéd gesture, and that embarrassed me too.“I would have done the same,” he said.He took his hand away and leaned back against the door.“Why don’t you give me the unedited version of the dreams—word for word and image for image.If you can remember.”“Well,” he said, when I had finished giving him the description of each dream.“This is as good a place to start as any.Shall we go look for an outbuilding in a poplar grove and a candy bar with an incriminating fingerprint on it?”We did [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]